Saturday, March 31, 2012

A Breakdown of Hockey Terms Used by Hockey Players

ON ICE TERMINOLOGY

Bag Skate - A practice where hockey players skate until the point of complete exhaustion.
Barn – Hockey Rink/Arena
Bender – A lousy player who always seems to have his ankles bent. (Happy Gilmore)
Between the Pipes – In the net.
Biscuit – A Puck.
Breezers – Hockey pants.
Brain Bucket (or just Bucket) – A helmet.
Celly – A celebration, usually done after scoring a goal
Coast to Coast – When a player carries the puck from his own net all the way to his opponent’s and scores.
Chippy – Getting irritated with one another, usually on the brink of fighting.
Chirp – To talk trash.
Cherry Picker – Player who hangs out in his opponents zone awaiting a long pass. (Alexander Ovechkin)
Dangle – Misdirecting an opponent while handling the puck. See deke.
Deke – A fake out, perhaps derived from the word “decoy”.
Drop – To leave the puck behind or pass it to a trailing teammate.
Duster - The worst player on the team who only plays in the last 3 minutes of a losing effort when the team as given up.
Gongshow – A rough, intense game.
Grinder – A player who digs deep, hustles to make plays.Usually better known for checking and disruption rather than scoring ability. Like a lineman in football, he works hard but rarely gets recognized for his hard work.
Enforcer – A player who takes on the role of discouraging the opposing team from harassing his goal scoring teammate by imposing the threat of physical harm. (George Parros) 
Fisticuffs – A fight.
Five Hole – The area in between the goalie’s legs.
Hash Marks – The lines coming out of the faceoff circles providing a guide to where players should be lined up.
Hat Trick – Scoring three goals in one game.
Hoser – A loser. Orginated from the pre-Zamboni days when the losing team had to hose off the ice.
Keeper - Another term for the goaltender
Laser – A quick, well-placed shot.
Light the Lamp – Score a goal so the siren flashes.
Mucker – A physical player who lacks finesse but gets the job done by forechecking, working the boards, etc. He is not afraid to do the dirty work. Usually used interchangeably or in connection with grinder. (Thomas Holmstrom)
One-timer – Taking a hard shot right off the pass without pausing to receive it.
Pipe-fitter/Plumber – See mucker and grinder.
Playing the Point – When a defender positions himself in front of the blue line near the boards in order to keep the puck in his offensive zone.

Pylon – Skater who just stands still and is as easy to skate around as an orange cone.  (Rick Nash)
Schoolyard Puck – Pick-up hockey often played in a schoolyard, usually on inline skates.
Shinny – Pick-up hockey usually played on a frozen pond.
Sieve – A goalie with a lot of “holes” meaning he allows a lot of goals.  (Dwayne Roloson)
Sin Bin – The penalty box.
Slapper – A slap shot.
Slot – The middle area in front of the net.
Sniper – Player with an accurate shot who often scores from a distance.  (Steven Stamkos)
Top Shelf – To put a goal in the upper part of the net.
Tripod - A player who has to balance himself with his stick.  (Charley Conway)
Woody – A wooden stick
Wrap around – To come from behind the net and squeeze it past the goalie.
Wrister – A wrist shot.

OFF ICE TERMINOLOGY

Wheelin’ broads: Refers to the process of courting girls with slick lines and ruthless comments. In other words, shamelessly hitting on girls hockey players find in bars when they have perfectly loving girlfriends back at home. The process of wheeling broads normally takes place when the team is on a road trip, and is famous for being used by junior hockey players.
Ridin’ the pine: The act of sitting on the bench/sideline during a sporting event, but a member of the team.
Road kills: These are the hoes the boys manage to sleep with when they’re on the road. A pick up. One night stand, in other words.
Ditch Pig: Western Canadian expression to describe an ugly female that hunts for hockey players outside of bars, the arena and strip clubs. Normally they hang around the roadside or parking lot at the end of the evening hoping to get picked up by the desparate and dateless. Hence the ‘Ditch’ part of the name. ‘Pig’ is self evident.
Swamp Donks: Used to describe a girl who is every hockey players last resort. She is that one broad that waits around for your phone call all night and when that phone call comes (usually around 3 am when all the half decent broads are sleeping) she’ll be there on call. Be careful some tend to get clingly so lay the law down firmly. Shes not the best looking but shes dedicated to making your night better. What she lacks on looks she makes up for on expierence. They are generally treated like crap and dont care because the next day they are proud to tell their friends that they know the hockey studs personally. They are usually down for whatever which results in an intresting night for the boys. Many players regret and frown upon what they did the night before. Fortunetly this phenemonal night has its upsides like building team chemistry and chirping broads . the donksbecomechaw.
Dummied: To beat/completely annihilate someone in a form of competitive event so badly that it was like you were facing a non-living mannequin. aka. a Dummy.
Flow: Hair that would flow out the back of someone’s helmet and curl up around the back of the helmet. Someone can have a flow or be flowin. Long, curly or wavy hair. ex. Scott Hartnell’s flow.
Puck Bunnies: One of the lowest forms of lifestyles, they vary from young teens to women in their early 30s, and from appealing to grotesque. These girls are known for attending hockey games for the soul purpose of ending up in bed with one of the players. Their most common words used while in attendance of a game are “hot, ass, legs, body, arms, muscles, cute, tight.”
Bad Jibs: Bad teeth. One will usually see Bad Jibs on a hockey player who plays junior hockey or professional due to the lack of a face mask. Chipped, missing, teeth is also referred to Bad Jibs.
Gongshows:
  • Generally regarding the shitstorm that takes place after games.
  • A lifestyle defined and perfected by junior hockey players.
  • A unique code of ethics shared amongst hockey players; widely unknown to others.
  • Everything chaos.
  • “Strictly a hockey term used to describe a random situation that was or could become out of control involving a lot of of booze. This term is unknown to civilians outside the dressing room and is a word used with pride and and class by some of the dirtiest hockey men alive. Strictly a class word.”
Beaks: Insults.
The Show: a.k.a : The National Hockey League/ The Big League.
The Chizzler: The guy on the team that steals everybody elses point because he can’t get his own.
The Knobhawk: The guy who keeps his head up on the ice, but down in the showers.
Ron Textall: The guy who just can’t stop texting either if its in the dressing room, in the car or in the bars. This guys always has his head burried in his celly trying to wheel.
The Word “Fuck”: Used all over the ice, all the time.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Post-Trade Deadline Top NHL Contenders

About a month ago, just before the NHL Trade Deadline I gave a list of who I thought the top contenders for the Stanley Cup were.  My, how a month has changed the entire landscape of the NHL.  A couple of the top contenders a month ago are falling below the waist, Detroit, Boston, San Jose to name a few, while teams like Pitsburgh, Philadelphia, Dallas, St. Louis (a month ago I didn't take them as a serious cup contender, I was wrong, yes I can admit when I'm wrong) are all surging into the playoffs.  And then there's teams like Washington, Los Angeles and Buffalo who I thought were Cup contenders at the start of the season but are in danger of missing the playoffs.  There's about 10 games left in the NHL schedule (3 weeks) and as the playoffs get near the races get better. So heres's the new list of the top contenders...

New York Rangers - They have scuffed their toes a little going 4-5-1 in the last 10 games, but make no mistake about it this team is for real.  Their only question going into the playoffs is does King Henrik (Lundqvist) have enough in the tank to take this team to the Cup?

Pittsburgh Penguins - This team is by far my favorite to come out of the East and depending on who they play against the West, they are one of the favorites to win the cup.  They already have the top line in the NHL with Malkin centering Neal and Kunitz, now with a healthy Crosby who was recently voted the top player in the game in a player's poll is back and playing at the level he left off when he got hurt.  The only teams in the East that can really slow the Pens down when they're playing on top of their game is New York, Boston (if Tim Thomas decides to pull his head out of his ass), and maybe and this is a big maybe, Philadelphia. 

Philadelphia Flyers - This team is a huge dark horse.  This team is wildely talented led by Claude Giroux but they have been incredibly inconsistent all year, largely due to their lack of defense and solid goaltending provided by Bryzgalov.  With that said, Philly has elite talent, and Bryzgalov is on pace to play the golden amount of games for cup contending goalies (Between 55-65 games).  If Bryzgalov gets hot they can knock off anybody, but their question is can they stay consistent for 4 playoff rounds?

Boston Bruins - A month ago I thought this was the best team in hockey, better than the Rangers, Canucks, and Red Wings.  Within the last month Tuukka Rask has injured his groin, Tim Thomas game has "gone to shit" (A little Herb Brooks reference), they brought in Marty Turco who has just exposed how bad this team has played the last month.  I don't know if it's just me but it definetly seems like Tim Thomas's game has been incredibly inconsistant since he skipped the White House ceremony.  And yes the Bruins are banged up.  The bottom line is however is this team looks like the Cup hangover that they started the season with has returned and I don't think this team has what it takes to win back-to-back championships.  But then again they've proved me wrong.

Vancouver Canucks - Like the Rangers a month ago, this team looked like the top team in the West, they ended Detroit's record home win streak in dramatic fashion and were in cruise control for the top spot in the conference.  But like the Rangers, they've struggled in their last 10 games and only able to manage 3 wins in that time span.  For my money this team is my favorite still to come out of the West.  They just have a calm yet confident swagger about them like the Penguins did in 2009 when they went back to the finals for the 2nd year in a row and beat Detroit.

St. Louis Blues - At the start of the season who would've thought the Blues would be leading the league in points and would be the 1st team to clinch a playoff berth?  If you claim to have said this you are either a liar or the biggest Blues fan.  If I am a GM in the Western Conference I would not want to play the Blues.  Even though they lack a premier player like Ovechkin, Iginla, Datsyuk, Toews, ect. this team is dangerous.  They are very talented, very physical, incredibly detail oriented, they have incredible goaltending, and Ken Hitchcock is by far the favorite to win the Jack Adams for best coach.  The only teams that I could see giving the Blues trouble are Detroit and Vancouver because of their star power. 

Detroit Red Wings - Let's face it, their recent slide is completely tied to their injury situation.  Losing Datsyuk, Lidstrom, and Howard in a week hurt, and not to mention when they came back into the lineup this week guys like Franzen and Helm got hurt and they'll be out for a while.  In my opinion this team is the "sleeping giant" (Pearl Harbor reference, what a terrible movie) in the entire NHL.  The way this team can win when they are on is unmatched by anybody, and they've been doing it my entire life (20 years, 6 months, 18 days).  Their Cup dreams like so many other teams reside in their goaltender's play in the playoffs.  And the Wings will either sink or swim depending on Howard's health and his performance in the playoffs. 

Nashville Predators - This team is the perfect playoff team, top 10 in offense, defense, power play, penalty kill.  In the playoffs teams win on special teams and goaltending.  This team has qualities in the 3 categories that match any other team in the NHL.  The moves this team made at the deadline bringing in the other Kostitsyn, Gaustad, and Hal Gill solidify this team's roster.  There's no holes in this line up, and their top-6 forwards, top-4 defensemen, and goalies are all healthy going into the playoffs.  On top of that Alexander Radulov, for my money the top player not playing NHL hockey, may decide this week whether he is going to return to the NHL after a 4 year hiatus.  Because of his contract situation with the Predators, if he comes back he doesn't have to pass through re-entry waivers, and he is fully elidigable for the playoffs (Marty Turco who signed with the Bruins after the trade deadline isn't elidgeable to play in the playoffs).  Make no mistake about it, if the Pred's get Radulov they're adding a top-6 forward into their lineup.

So there's my list.  If I were a betting man I would put my money with one of those 8 teams to win the cup.  With that said though any team in the playoffs, especially out of the West, can beat any other team, no question about it.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Women's Hockey... Controversies surrounding it...

For all the years I've been around the game of hockey it's given me an incredible ride.  For a long time too, it's given my sister who also plays hockey an awesome ride.  Over the years I've seen countless games of my sister's teams, as well as coached some of them.  And then recently in the last week my sister and I were having an argument about hockey.  In skipping all the unnecessary details, somewhere in there I made the statement "Women's hockey isn't real hockey".  Boy did my sister make me pay for that, and on top of it my mother was sitting in the other room and she got mad too.  But then it dawned upon me, Women's Hockey isn't really real hockey. 

Let me start off this argument that I think Women's Hockey is great, it's growth has been amazing for female hockey players who 20 years ago only had the option of playing hockey against boys/men, and most female hockey players had to drop out at the Pee Wee levels when boys started checking and "maturing".  I think it's awesome what women's hockey has done. 

With that said, here's where I think Women's Hockey should look at changing, and the reason they should look at changing is because for every male fan, coach, player, scout that loves and completely respects Women's Hockey, there's ten fans, players, coaches, scouts, etc. that have little respect for Women's Hockey, and they see it very much unequal compared to Men's Hockey or "Real Hockey".  Here's my problem with Women's Hockey: NO CHECKING.  Because girls/women can't legally make a clean hockey check to defend against a puck carrier, there's more time and space for a player to carry a puck.  Thus in non-checking leagues (Mites, Squirts, Old-Timers/Beer Leaguers included), the most skilled team always wins.  At times watching my sister's games, it looks like the better team in the game is on a 5 on 5 powerplay, and there's many times in Women's Hockey where the score gets run up by 6, 12, hell even 20 goals.  In my sister's travel league she played in one year the toughest team they faced one season, they beat all 3 times they played them by a total score of 16-6.  That year her team won the State Championship and went the whole entire season with 5 losses, all against Canadian teams.  In the end, because Women's Hockey is all about skill and puck possession, there is a tremendous competitive imbalance. 

And here's an even bigger piece of evidence of a competitive imbalance in Women's Hockey, the Women's Olympic Hockey Tournament.  Since the Women's Olympic Hockey Tournament has been around (1998 Winter Olympics was the 1st tournament)  In the 4 Olympic tournaments, the only time a North American team lost a game was when the Americans lost to the Swedish in the 2006 Gold Medal Semi-Final Game.  During it's 4 tournaments, Women's Olympic Hockey has featured teams from China, Sweden, Finland, Germany, Russia, Italy, Japan, Slovakia, and Kazakhstan.  However other than the 2006 Olympics, the 3 other Gold Medal games featured America and Canada.  In the most recent 2010 games the Canadian and American teams out scored their opponents 41-2 and 31-1 respectively.  And this has been the same exact case the previous 3 tournaments.  Clearly the North American teams have tremendous skill over teams from all other continents which is why there is a major debate going on in the Olympic Committee of whether or not Women's Hockey should be a competitive sport. 

Hockey is an incredible sport.  It is a balance between offensive skill and defensive skill, speed, grit, determination, physicality, and many other attributes.  In men's hockey all games are competitive, just look at the NHL.  I was watching the Phoenix Coyotes v. Columbus Blue Jackets game the other day, Phoenix a team battling for their playoff lives went in to Columbus to face a team that is dead last in the NHL, Phoenix had all the reasons to win yet Columbus managed a way to squeak out a win.  With checking in the game of hockey it gives teams with lesser skill than their opponents a legitimate chance to win, and a lot of times in checking leagues, the skill discrepancy between two teams is erased by hard work and determination.  Women's Hockey is all about skill and puck possession and 99.9% of the time the most skilled team wins, usually leaving little doubt of who was the better team.  When it's routine for a team to lose by 4, 5, 6, 7, even 10+ goals  it's not competitive hockey. 

And that's why I feel Women's Hockey is to an extent, NOT "REAL HOCKEY".

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Pictures of some of the New Skater Gear...

Here's a glimse of what's coming out for Spring, 2012.  (Bauer Nexus is scheduled to be released in Summer, 2012)


Heres a quick look at the Bauer Nexus lineup.  It's going to fit kind of bigger, designed for the bigger power forward such as Ryan Kessler.




New Bauer Supreme Total One skates.  Not a lot of upgrades other than the honey comb design, the APX tongue, and improved eyelets (the gold eyelets in the picture)





Reebok 20K Skates.  They brought in theVapor style quarter package, which makes the skate a little lighter.  The first brand other than Bauer to release an $800 skate.





Easton Mako Stick... Although the White paint doesn't really do what it is supposed to (camoflouge the stick from the goalie), it still is an incredible stick.  The stick is light, it has great feel, and it's designed off of the very popular SE16 sticks.



Wednesday, March 7, 2012

New Goalie Gear Pictures

Just so you know what you're looking for if you're buying goalie gear this up coming year here's a few pictures of all the new stuff coming out.

                                                              Reebok Premier 4




Vaughn Velocity 5






Bauer Supreme Total One



 Warrior Ritual

Friday, March 2, 2012

Steve Mason.....

In the 2008-2009 NHL season, something incredible happened, something completely unexpected happened.  In the early part of that season, the Columbus Blue Jackets had incredible injuries to their entire goalie staff.  They were desperate so they called up a guy from their minor league system.  They said, "we need you to start a few games for us, just try and keep your head out there."  61 games later and 4 playoff games later, the Columbus Blue Jackets finished with the best season in the entire history of their franchise.  That season was backstopped by Steve Mason, who at that point emerged as a legitimate starting NHL netminder.  Fast forward 3 seasons, Steve Mason has completely faltered.  Each season since his incredible rookie year his goals against average has been over 3.00, his save percentage has been around .900, both stats no where near his rookie year, and he hasn't come close to hitting the standard 30 win plateau for NHL starting netminders.  In fact this season has been pitiful for Mason who has a goals against average of 3.40 per game, a save percentage of .890, and has only 9 wins in 35 games played.  At this point Columbus seems to be ready to throw in the towel on Mason, who still is only 23 years old.  There are so many questions to be asked about Mason, like What does his future hold?  Will he ever be able to hold down an NHL job?  Is Columbus going to just give up on him?

Before asking and answering all the questions surrounding Mason, let's look at what went wrong.  In the 2008-2009 campaign when Mason first came up, he came up into a perfect situation.  Mason was one of the Jacket's last options in net due to injuries.  When he came up he had hardly any pressure to perform as an elite starting NHL goalie.  That's when a goalie can be the most dangerous.  Because of the lack of pressure on him, Mason was able to thrive in that environment.  On top of that too, the Jackets were coached by one of the greatest NHL head coaches all time in Ken Hitchcock.  His strict, defense first system has worked with every team he as coached but he also tends to wear out his welcome.  So in the winter of 2010, Hitch was relieved of his coaching duties and had been reassigned to a job within the Columbus organization.  Since then there have been 3 different coaches working the Jacket's bench.  None of Hitch's replacements emphasize a defense 1st scheme, and thus since Hitch's dismissal, Columbus's defensive game has been terrible and that is a major contributor to Mason's struggles.  Also with 3 coaching changes within the last 2 years, Mason has been the highlight of the Jacket's struggles to adjust to new systems from each hired head coach.  That's the clear on-ice struggles of Mason, but his problems go beyond that.  Steve Mason has incredible talent, great technique.  There's nothing wrong with his physical game, his problems are all mental and are all based on his confidence.  Hockey goalies are a different breed of hockey player.  Many times forwards and defenseman are able to break in to the league and thrive at a very young age, even as young as 18.  However, goalie's are different.  Goalies need to develop the mental and confidence side of their game before they can face the pressures of playing in the NHL, most goalies don't break into the league at least until their 23rd birthday.  Most goalies need the experience of playing at a high level in critical junctures of a hockey game but with minor league pressures from fans, media, and all other hockey personnel.  Steve Mason made his debut in the league at the very raw age of 20.  Having only played 3 games at the AHL level, he excelled when he came up in the NHL.  Since his tremendous rookie season, Mason has been under constant pressure from an NHL market, all be it not a good one, to return to form he had in his rookie season.  That type of pressure Mason should have had experience with in the minor leagues before having to deal with it in the NHL.  And because of that pressure he's facing, he hasn't been able to find the confidence that he played with when he broke into the league. 

So what does the future hold for Steve Mason?  I think his time in Columbus is dwindling.  I think he will be traded or let go from that franchise sometime in the upcoming 2012 offseason.  I think for Mason, what's best for him is to go to a franchise where he isn't expected to be the starter right away, where he can develop the mental aspect of his game, and where he can go and play behind a solid defensive team.  I don't know where he's going to end up but a team like Florida, Tampa, maybe Washington, maybe Chicago are great examples of where he can go and take a step back and work to remodel his game.  If he does that I think he will still be a force to be reckoned with going forward.